Tuesday, June 1, 2010

This afternoon i was sitting on the balcony with my two youngest and we waived goodbye to hubby and eldest, as they walked up the road to the shops.
my 2y.o cried his eyes out as he realised they were leaving. he sat there with eyes brimming with tears calling out "dadda", "tara" as they walked off up the hill. his little hands reaching out thru the balcony bars and finally the tears rolling down his cheeks. it was the saddest moment.
while i was watching him, i was overcome with sadness for people whom i have never met. people who lived another lifetime, in another world - Nazi Germany.
Children from Jewish families experienced a scene just like i did today. little hands reaching out for their brothers and sisters. tears falling for their mummy and daddy. but unlike my little boy, they never had the chance to run to their daddy 15 mins later when he came home with bread and milk.
they were crying for a loss more complete than my little boy hopefully will ever know. theirs was one of total devasatation and a moment where their lives inexplicably changed forever. they cried real tears of sadness - just like my boy - except there was no happy ending for them. forever that moment was imprinted on their minds. each time they faced another time to say goodbye to someone - who knew if they were saying goodbye for the last time? after that initial moment where they lost their loved one, no other moment is the same. there is always a sense of loss and fear that is imprinted on their little minds. the world is no longer a safe place.
for my son, that moment is long forgotten as he is scooped up in his dad's arms for a cuddle. there is no prolonged sense of loss. mummy reassured her little boy and he was distracted with another toy to play with.
it is unimaginable what those little children suffered thru during the Jewish round-up in WW2. but i can imagine what those mother's felt like - seeing their children distressed and not being able to calm or allay their fears. for you cannot reason with a two year old - no matter what the circumstances are. all you can do is cuddle them and whisper quiet loving words to them of reassurance. how hard it would be to reassure a little one, when you weren't even sure what the future would hold. the women of a lost generation are strong and courageous, they are self sacrificing and brave.
their burdens were bigger than any i have ever had to bear.my life seems difficult at times, but  after today, i will always be grateful for what i have - not for what i dont have. for what i dont have could be much worse. it could be a whole lot worse. my life could be reduced to moments of fear and loss. of uncertainty and of sadness so great you wonder how a heart could possibly hold up.
but for the grace of God, i was born in the 70's, safely away from Nazi Germany. in a land where my biggest burdens are that i have too much and my waist line may grow bigger. i thank God that i am blessed with a family and community that doesnt know that kind of suffering and hardship. where we abuse each other on the road because we are not going fast enough...not because we are escaping to a safer place, but because we need to race home to see our favourite show, or get to a footy game in time.
how diferent our world view would be if we were look at it through these eyes.
thank you Jewish mothers for showing us your strength and bravery in a dark time and place.
thank you my little boy for giving me a moment that allowed me to widen my heart to be more compassionate of others.