11 April "My Daily Gifts"

11 April

“My Daily Gifts”

3 gifts budding/blooming

 

I am thinking that the theme for today is to coincide with the northern hemisphere’s spring time. So let me take you down the path of  3 things that are coming to a rest /end as well as budding/blooming, now that the downward run into winter is upon us.

 

1. Denial.

You know the saying – “Denial is a river in Egypt”! I have been living in denial for about 6 months. And omg it was such a great place to be in. I was able to escape, and dream and live anywhere but in my reality – which has been overwhelmingly hard to face at times. However, I have been coming back to reality in the last month – sometimes it would rise up and smash me in the face, and then retreat for a time, only to rise up again. I am told that it is a protective mechanism that your brain uses in order to cope. So I am thankful for the intricacies of my brain that allowed me to make it thru the last 6 months relatively intact, and able to face the next 6 months.

But it is time for denial to end, and for reality to begin its residency in my life. I believe I am ready. I believe my inner strength has been trying to begin its springtime blooming/budding, although I think there were a few unexpected frosts that came thru and stopped my growth, before the warmer weather began and allowed the first buds of strength to push thru, (to use a seasonal metaphor).

2. Hiding Away.

It came to my attention that I have been doing a little bit of “hermit-like” behaviour. I have been regularly unfriending on FB, in order to minimise the gossip that is going on – dobbing to one’s mother has a way of making one close ranks! Blocking people out on FB and in the real world has been another coping mechanism. The funny thing is that I am simultaneously pursuing new relationships with old friends that I haven’t had much to do with in the past. This hasn’t been planned, more like they were placed back in my life at an appropriate time.

I like that I am simultaneously pruning friendships and allowing others to blossom. How ironic.

3. fourth week with house on the market.

I am still waiting to sell this house. I never thought I would get to the point where I was excited to leave, but it is finally how I feel. Nearly seven years here, two babies born and many hours spent cleaning and working in the garden. Lovingly creating a home that I am peaceful in. But that kinda never came to fruition. I was always restless and wanting to leave this house / neighbourhood / lifestyle. Now I am weeks away from moving and instead of being scared, I am excited for what is coming next. God is gracious, and his timing is perfect, and I know that the house will sell when it is right. So I am not stressed, I am peaceful….ironic eh? The end of one chapter is paving the way for my next one, and I am renewed with energy and excitement when I think about this aspect of my life and what’s coming up.

 

May you be blessed with simultaneous seasons of blooming and coming to an end, with summer and winter, so that you know things will always change, and you will have something to look forward to and look back upon xx